Wavering...

Sometimes I think I am okay with what happened on Friday night...and then sometimes I am really not okay. Maybe I am trying to put up a front and joke about it because then it is like I am objectifying the incident. As I've said, I cannot deny the sick comic value it has, but at the same time, part of it is a defense mechanism, not only for me, but for my family.

I don't want to worry my parents, not when I am planning to do much more solo traveling, nor do I want to worry my family here in anyway - they are not really my guardians, but I am sure they feel some responsibility for me, so I'd like to avoid sending them on a guilt trip.

Right now I'm riding a wave of "I'm not okay," especially since it's not exactly the first time I've had something traumatic happen.

Even getting extra attention from James the Yogi today during our meditation/relaxation part of class(nobody else got mano y mano stretching or a neckrub) only helped for about 15 minutes. Too bad I think my feet may have smelled from my sandals, and I'm sure my headband did because we don't really use a dryer, so sometimes it takes a while to dry after I wash it.